Just Keep Moving

Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty sure I’ve mastered the art of Instagram.  I don’t use social media outside of LinkedIn and Instagram, so I suppose I’ve had time to master the algorithm.  Whenever I want to smile, all I have to do is open the app and see a delightful mix of dog videos, alpaca videos, goat videos, and various rodents mixed with travel recommendations and influencers trying delicious foods from restaurants that go straight to my bucket list.

Over the past few weeks, however, my algorithm learned that I had a substantial interest in the election of Pope Leo XIV.  I’m not Catholic, but I’ve been drawn to some aspects of Catholicism in recent years, and the new Pope reignited my curiosity.  Instagram jumped on this, and now there are men in fancy robes interspersed between my French bulldogs, highland cattle, and Korean fried chicken. I’m not upset.

Yesterday Instagram showed me a video of Catholic priest speaking at St. James Church Colgan in Ontario.  He spoke of a friend he’d known for years who asked for priestly advice.  This man had been dating a girl for a while, and she checked all of the “boxes”.  The boyfriend asked the priest whether or not he should pull the trigger and marry this girl.

The priest suggested that he run two statements by his heart and see which one resonated more:

1. “I should get over myself.”  In other words, to counteract the inner dialogue of doubts, worry, and fear, just get over yourself and God will make up for any shortcomings.

   
   

2. “You can do whatever you want.”  In other words – you can marry her, you can break up with her, you don’t have to get married at all in your life.  You can just focus on pursuing your vocation because that’s something between you and the Lord.

   
   

The second statement resonated with him more.

“So what do I do now?” the man asked.

The priest replied, “Well I don’t know!”

He went on to explain that “there’s a recurring temptation to look to the Church to prescribe a social concentration camp.”  People hope that the church (or society, or something else) will tell them what to do when choices get hard.

As I study the topic of choice, I agree.  Choice IS hard – and not just in relationships.  I see it professionally in job hunters.  Should I leave my job and find something else?  Should I stay and hope for change?  Should I apply for this role in this company or is that too much of a stretch?

On the other side is the employer choosing who to hire.  This can be just as much of a struggle.  Do we hire someone who clearly “fits” within the organization, or do we hire someone a bit different?  Do we make a selection out of this first batch of qualified candidates or keep looking for the unicorn?

Barry Schwartz discusses why less choice is often better for the human psyche in his book, The Paradox of Choice.  He cites a study about choosing cancer treatments.  When a group of healthy people were surveyed, 65% said that if they developed cancer, they would want to choose their treatment plan.  This makes sense.  Having control over our bodies and medical treatments seems sensible and, many might say, a human right.  Interestingly, this same study surveyed a demographically similar group of people who actually had cancer.  88% of them indicated that they would prefer NOT to be the one to choose their treatment. The 65% preferring autonomy dropped to only 12% in the face of a crisis.

The Canadian priest went on to describe that it’s not the Church’s role to make decisions for people.  In fact, modern Christians easily criticize the Pharisees in the Bible for this type of rigidity.  That said, we do want it sometimes.  Freedom to choose can be scary (what if we get it wrong?), and there’s comfort in knowing that someone else made the decision for us.

The video clip ended with the priest explaining that we are meant to embrace the adventure of life with enthusiasm, bravery, and love.

In the end, we must set our course – whether that is towards the service of other people, sacrifice out of a love for God, pursuit of a particular cause, or maybe it’s a course towards fame and fortune.  No matter what path you choose, someone won’t agree with it.  But you identify goals for your life, and then as long as your decisions are within that framework, you need to make the choice.  Do not let yourself go stagnant waiting for a sign – a priest, a lightning bolt, or a magical dream – to tell you what to do. 

The priest was right - It takes some bravery.  Just keep moving.